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Normal stuff

Day 1

I know I post a lot of, well, everything that is somewhat personal to me. I don’t hide much. And I always make sure I put the little mention in that is true…that I share these things with the thought that maybe others can relate a little or a lot.

My brain is all over the place with this Corona stuff. I’ll save my thoughts on that for blogglewhop for now.

I will say it felt good to sleep most of the day today. I woke up for a few hours and just got back in bed and zonked out from like 1pm to 5:30pm or so.

I feel like I go 1000 miles an hour all the time…and it never stops. Stress levels have been high. I’m preparing to declare bankruptcy, which has my brain all over the place. I currently pay for a home in Flint and am renting in Westland. It’s ridiculous, but my mortgage doesn’t allow me to sell my home. It was part of the Neighborhood Stabilization Program, so there’s a 15 year lien on my mortgage. I can actually sell it now I think, but I’d lose my ass if I did that.

I work 40+ hours/week on the bowling tournaments…what a ride that is. That’s my heart and soul, man. I was putting in closer to 70-100 hours when I traveled to all of them, but I’m cutting back this year and having others run a lot of them. I think this is the direction it all needs to go, but I have anxiety about it being what’s best for the tournaments.

I work 40+ hours at work. I take pride in my work. I am self motivated and love the job that I do. But at times it is overwhelming handling all of that plus the tournaments plus everything else. I am constantly making choices on what gets done today and what gets put off until I have time. That’s…every day. Some things in my life have been pushed off for months and years. That’s not good.

So it feels kinda good having a break all of a sudden. Today was nice resting and not doing much of anything. But I already feel antsy…eager to tackle some things tomorrow. I’ve been working out again and want to keep that momentum going. The gyms are closed, but there’s plenty I can do toward the goal of getting in shape.

I’m eager to attack some of the things I’ve been putting off. Some of that is embarrassing, and I’m actually going to keep it to myself for now. I suck so bad at taking care of some things that needed my attention…so now is the time to catch up on that.

Does anybody else feel like they just blast forward a million miles an hour and might be missing part of the ride because of it? Am I the only one who feels guilty about leaving a pile of crap on the side of the road that I needed to give more attention to? And now I go back and look for it and can’t remember where it all is? Am I alone on this?

I feel like I’m gaining some new perspective on life…one day into the coronavirus…quarantine. Is that what we’re calling this? The quarantine?

Either way, I’m going to label this as Day 1 and go forward from here.

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